Love of ‘thyself’ is an important step for those who seek spiritual enlightenment and eternal joy. Personally Speaking, the journey to self-love is a road driven between the peaks and valleys filled with moments of uncertainty. Sometimes, the sun is gleaming in front of you and the smooth path can be seen clearly; but then darkness falls, your eyes can not make out the winding path ahead that is plagued with craters. The most important thing to remember when seeking to ‘love thyself’, is to take it one day at a time.

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt. – African Proverb

Inner Me Enemy

You are your worst enemy. We all have that little voice in our head that constantly reminds us of why we are not good enough. If you think back to your childhood you will realize that those negative thoughts are not your own. Everyday, your mind repeats those thoughts subconsciously, which means you have been mentally and emotionally abusing yourself for years. Today, I encourage you to change those thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.

What Does Self-Love Look Like?
  • Putting your personal health and happiness first. Take care of yourself and then you can help others.
  • Surrounding yourself with like minded individuals and letting unhealthy relationships go.
  • Being alone doesn’t scare you anymore. You seek alone time to recharge and regroup.
  • Appreciating yourself as you are. Don’t compare yourself to others.
  • Knowing you are valued as a human being, worthy of a fulfilled life, and great love.
  • Holding yourself accountable for your actions, working to correct bad habits and behaviors.
  • Taking positive steps to evolve and grow; You are always changing.

A picture I shared to my social media that I wouldn't have shared in the past because it shows my natural but shorter hair. I must admit that I love my locs.

My Journey

When I started on the path to self-love I begin by working on changing my mind and it’s thought patterns. Bishop T.D, Jakes sermons, positive affirmations, sleep subliminal, and reading self-help books became apart of my daily routine. It’s not easy changing something that I believed about myself since childhood. For a day or so, it seemed that I was beating the negativity, but then the little voice would come back saying  “you’re fat, you’re ugly, and no one would ever want to marry you”. Why was I having these thoughts and where did they come from?

Events such as this would cause me to become discouraged in my progress; things weren’t changing. Fighting the feeling of failure, I continued my daily routine of positive affirmations, listening to sermons, and reading self -help books such as, “F**k Boy Free” by Kathleen Richardson. Chapter six, “Heal Your Womb” still resonates with me, and is where I was able to identify the negative voice in my subconscious and it’s origins. Being able to pinpoint my negative voice and where it came from, helped me win more battles with positive affirmations against my inner me enemy.

Who Told Me I Wasn’t Good Enough?
-A Personal Excerpt From My Journal-

As a child, I was teased by other kids for being chunky, having shorter hair, bigger lips, and a darker complexion. All the commercials and television shows portrayed fairer skin women with long hair and slender waists as being the most beautiful. This conditioned me to believe that I was ugly, my waistline size mattered, and I could never be loved.

I want me to know that none of this is true! You are smart, beautiful, creative, radiant, powerful Queen and everything in between.

Where Should You Start!

Feed your spirit everything positive! Rediscover that old hobby that makes you happy, slow down, stop a moment take in the fresh air, smile, laugh, dance, and sing. I highly recommend purchasing a copy of “F**k Boy Free” by Kathleen Richardson, and doing a YouTube search for Bishop T.D. Jakes sermon, “Power of a Changed Mind”. It is a good lesson no matter the religion you follow. I would also strongly encourage you to to keep an open mind because everything you have been conditioned your whole life to believe may begin to change.

My Personal JournalPay close attention to your thought patterns. Take note of what the negative thoughts are, what are they saying, and where did they come from? Is there a catalyst that causes different logic. Since negative thoughts are difficult to get rid of entirely, write positive affirmations on post-its and stick them to your bathroom mirror, work locker, work desk, and where ever else you find relevant. The post-its will remind you to think positively about yourself.

Start keeping a journal. Write about everything that occurs in your mind that you feel is significant. You can list the negative thoughts and the positive affirmations you use to battle them. Record your nightly dreams. They may have deeper meanings and can also reveal information about your subconscious. Don’t be afraid, to write down your goals and what you wish to achieve. You may need help healing from very traumatic childhood experiences, just as I did and still do. Therapy would be the best start because speaking with a mental health expert can help you identify your thinking process, set up a plan for change, and track your progress. Seeking help from a professional therapist is nothing to be ashamed of. Remember taking care of your health is apart of self-love.

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